Welcome to the 40 Day LoveFest. Happy Valentine’s Day.
This is our special “be your own Valentine” show, and I really felt strongly about doing this today as I heard from friends, or saw posts on different social media sites, about Valentine’s Day and what it means to people.
Some people are even kind of sad because it’s Valentine’s Day and they’re alone. Some people have expectations about what their significant other might have planned for the day. Some have an idea of “well, it’s Valentine’s Day, it’s not a big deal because it’s just kind of some commercial holiday”. Others think it’s an amazing and really great day to celebrate love.
Whatever you think about love, that’s what we want to address today. What is it that you’re thinking about love? Because any of those opinions people have about Valentine’s Day, often comes from a place about how they feel about love. This is the 40 Day LoveFest at Be Happier Today, and we of course, are passionate about helping people love themselves more, about helping people lead happier lives, and really be able to focus on their passions, goals, and what’s important inside of them.
So on this Valentine’s Day, again, I’m Tina Nies and if you haven’t listened to one of our shows previously, I encourage you to go back, maybe even listen to the show from Sunday with a little bit more background information about how the show developed. But the basic idea is that I, personally, did not know how to love myself for a really long time. I might have beeen pretty happy, and I was pretty successful, I was doing pretty fun things, but it was all just on a level that wasn’t reaching my highest potential. I really wanted to reach another level, but I didn’t know how. I thought I was doing all the right things, but the results weren’t the results I desired. But I was doing the positive exercises, reading the good books, and doing things that I felt were the right things to do to be happier and more successful, and to love myself more. But it wasn’t really working and I wasn’t really feeling what I thought I should feel, so I went on my own personal journey to really discover what it was in me that was holding me back. I wanted to find out what is it that I need to do and address to get to that point where I can love myself 100%, love myself unconditionally, and not beat myself up over bad decisions, or give up if a relationship doesn’t work out, or any of those multiple things that we might be overly concerned about on an emotional level in our life.
That’s a little bit of background on the 40 Day LoveFest. You can also check the 40DayLoveFest.com website. We have the old blogs from last year’s blog when I did the original 40 Day LoveFest. So, happy Valentine’s Day! What are some ways that you, personally, can love yourself more and honor yourself on this day, regardless of your relationships? Some of the things you might want to do is just think about what it is that you love to do. Take Valentine’s Day and do something to pamper yourself. If that means that you take a nap in the middle of the afternoon, take a nap in the middle of the afternoon. If it means that you go get a manicure or massage, do that. If it means you rent your favorite movie, have some popcorn, and watch a movie tonight, do that. But do something and think about it. Have a conscious awareness that you’re doing it because you love to do it.
Even right now as you listen to me and you’re thinking about this, what are some of those things you could do to love yourself that maybe you don’t take the time to do for lots of reasons? We always have all the best excuses, right? “Well, I can’t really get a massage because it’s not in the budget this week” or “I’m not going to watch this movie because I really need to work on this project”, and we always come up with excuses for why we can’t pamper ourself, address our personal needs, or do something that’s really loving just for us, where we’re not “imagine what the kids are going to watch for the movie”.
Or if you want to make your favorite food, but no one else in the family likes it. You can make it for yourself anyway. Make it be one of those nights where everybody’s on their own, and you make that. If anybody wants something else, make it yourself. We always have an excuse for why we don’t do…it doesn’t fit with the family, it doesn’t fit with my partner, it doesn’t fit with my work, it doesn’t fit with something. But it fits with us, and we’re really what’s most important, because if we don’t nourish ourself, if we don’t replenish that love in us, we have a lot less to give. That’s what makes us struggle in some of our endeavors. It’s that we’re not replenishing us. We’re giving so much, and yet we’re not receiving, we’re not being open to what’s coming back to us, and that is a really huge awareness.
We have a 40 Day LoveFest practice and I’ll share a little bit about that today. If you practice every day self-love, for like two minutes a day, we have a program, you start to recognize that it’s not that you’re doing all the right things and nothing ever works out, it’s that you’re doing the right things, but you’re not taking the next step to be open to receiving. It’s taught to us by our families, our media, our religions, and lots of things, to give and give and give. To not think about yourself, to be selfless, to give your time, to give your money, to give your life. Those are good things.
But after you give, take a moment to open yourself to receive, to take a minute to appreciate what you did. Sometimes, if we look for other people to appreciate what we did, “well, I just spent all this time on this project, and do you think I got any recognition?”, we hear that, right? I picked up those clothes every day for these kids. Do you think they appreciate that? We do that to ourselves all the time, and we look for the recognition from someone else, and then we get disappointed when it doesn’t happen. We get disappointed, maybe, on Valentine’s Day when we don’t have someone to spend that with, or a person who is there doesn’t have the same idea about Valentine’s Day as you do. You’ve got to stop looking outside yourself and start looking within yourself. That’s what the 40 Day LoveFest is about. Looking inside yourself to build a stronger relationship with you, to develop a love relationship with yourself.
If you fall in love with yourself, wow. It’s so much easier for other people to fall in love with you, it’s so much easier to attract the good things that you want because you’re looking for them. You’re looking for them and you’re open to receiving them. Let’s just practice. I’m going to give you these three simple steps approach. You can also read more on our website 40DayLoveFest.com or on facebook. We have a book coming out in about a week you can have, 40 Day LoveFest for Christians. Some of you might think “I’m not spiritual, I’m not religious, I’m not whatever”, and that’s okay. You don’t have to buy that version of the book, you can wait for the next one, but a lot of us are and sometimes it causes conflict, and that’s why I addressed it from a Christian perspective, because that’s what was an issue for myself.
The three steps of the 40 Day LoveFest that you practice every single day, one is gratitude. We hear that all the time, right? Or you might think, “well, I do that”, but we do it a little bit differently. Every morning I want you to think about three things you’re grateful for…every single morning. The first few days are easy, but then it gets a little tougher because you don’t want to keep repeating the same things. So you start digging deeper, you start looking for more recognition of what you’re really grateful for. Every day it’s three things in the morning. You can do it on the way to work, you can write it in a journal, you can do it while you’re having coffee, or whatever. But think of those things to start your day off on that positive note.
The second step in the LoveFest, at the end of the day think of three things that went well. We call them triumphs. Three things that went well, every single day. Again, the first couple days are pretty easy. Okay, I did this, I did this, and this went well. But when you do it every day, you’re changing your thought and giving more focus to what is positive. You’re looking for it, and because you look for it, that’s what you’re going to see more of. The triumphs don’t have to be huge. It’s not about “oh, I made the sale, I got an A on my paper, I lost four pounds”, it’s not necessarily about those big things. Big things are great, but it’s also about the little things. I’m going to be completely honest, one day, about a year ago in my journal, one of my triumphs was, and I literally wrote this, I wasn’t mean when I wanted to be. That was a triumph for that day. Some people would think “you’re never mean”, but my family might tell you different. We all have little triggers or things that we react to, and that day I didn’t react, so that was a triumph for me. Not reacting immediately in a negative way was a triumph. So little things like that can be a triumph. It can be getting to work on time, it could be leaving the house five minutes early so you don’t have to rush in traffic and that your whole day was better because you weren’t stressed out from the beginning. As you practice these three gratitudes every single morning, three triumphs every single evening, you begin to look for what’s good and you begin to let go of the other stuff. A lot of times at the end of the day, we tend to think about what didn’t get done, what has to be done tomorrow, or what we have to finish before we go to bed. We’re stressed out. So, choose to end your day on that positive note.
The third step is to say “I love you” to yourself in the mirror every day. Really, any time you look in the mirror is good, but at least once a day. The three steps are talked about in a lot more detail with a lot more support and ideas for practicing the LoveFest in our new book, 40 Day LoveFest for Christians.
Right now we have some amazing bonuses if you order your book by March 8. You’ll get a FREE audio book, with mp3 files you can download and listen to anytime, anywhere. You’ll also get a downloadable 52-week Be Happier in 2 Minutes a Day journal!
Join us every Sunday night or you can also listen to the archives if you’re not up late. Be sure to check out our website for extra support and guidance during your practice of self-love. May you reach greater success, happiness, and personal love. Thank you for joining us. Happy Valentine’s Day, and have a beautiful beautiful day.