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Welcome back to the 40 Day LoveFest part of Be Happier Today. I’m Tina Nies, your host. For some of you new listeners, I’m going to share a little bit of information about what we do and what our mission is. If you’re rejoining us, thank you. Thank you for coming back to the 40 Day LoveFest. Tonight is our first night of the Sunday night inspiration show. We’ll also be hosting a Wednesday morning show each week as well.
The 40 Day LoveFest, if you’re new to what it is, we developed a really simple practice for loving ourself more, and that leading to greater happiness, success in any goals we might want to achieve, and really an overall sense of well-being. Really bringing back that sense of well-being about ourselves, focusing on what it is we can do in simple ways every day to improve our self love. I’ve been doing coaching and consulting for probably 20 years, in a variety of different ways. For a long time I worked as a marketing and business consultant, and as a college instructor. I’ve worked with individuals on a one-to-one basis with their outside goals, and a few years ago I was working with a client who hired me to work on some of those outside goals, some sales numbers. I identified that he really didn’t do some of the things that were suggested, and thought “why is that?”, so I kind of observed and overheard one of his staff saying that the owner of this business, who was a dentist, was going to sell his practice. Well, then it made sense to me. He didn’t want to just meet those outside goals, he wanted to sell the practice so that he could meet an inside goal, something that was going to make him happier than what he had currently been doing. So I revamped the schedule with him on that sales goal, and he was able to meet that, move on, and do the next step in his life. But that’s really what got me started at looking at what we can do to really be happier, wherever we are. Maybe we’re in a place where we don’t want to be, but we can be happier while we’re there until we get to that next place.
As I did that over a couple of years, I also started looking at the cycle of my own personal success, my own personal happiness. Even though I had been doing lots of great things, reading the books of all the great teachers who talk about happiness and personal fulfillment, I still had my own cycles of up and down. It was about a year ago that I said, “okay, I’ve been doing all these great things forever, I’ve been pretty happy, I do pretty well”, but I wanted to stop that up and down cycle that so many of us have, where things will go well for a while, but then things will get all messed up. We’re not quite sure why, because on the surface it looks like we’re doing the right things. It looks like we know what we’re doing, but on the inside there’s sometimes something a little different going on, and it isn’t always obvious to us what it is. So I really determined, for myself, that I needed to find that and address it, and make last year what I call “a breakthrough year” or that “finding that missing link year”. So that’s what I did. As I did that, again, wanting to learn as much as I could from other people, I was listening to a woman talk about the top obstacles to success. As she went through her list I thought, “I’m pretty good on that, I don’t hold grudges, I let things go, I set goals and put them in writing”, so none of the things she was saying were obstacles because I didn’t have those issues, so I continued to listen. Then she hit on a topic that made me stop what I was doing and really pay attention. She mentioned self-sabotage, and began to describe what that looked like, and read the things a person might do when they were self-sabotaging. THAT is where I identified myself in that cycle. That was what was happening to me. I would get to a point where I might make a mistake and beat myself up about it, or I might have some underlying issues about deserving the success that I was about to reach, and that might cause me to sabotage something I was doing, or give up on something I was doing, or get distracted and start doing something else, not meet that ultimate goal and desire that I might have had, that vision that I saw for that ultimate success that I wasn’t able to reach because I was stopping myself. Nobody else was, it was just me, and it was things that were maybe left over.
Now, I have a new book coming out in less than two weeks, The 40 Day LoveFest For Christians. It’s a book that you’ll be able to read a lot more of my stories and background I had of baggage from years and years ago that I thought I had dealt with, but there were some lingering habits, some lingering self-doubt, lingering feelings about deserving. Those were still there, but they weren’t there in a big giant way that stuck out to me, so I didn’t notice. I didn’t really notice. Like I said, in the book you’ll be able to read a lot more about it, and in a minute I’m going to talk about some great bonuses to preordering that book before it hits Amazon and all the big book
sellers. After I identified the self-sabotage last year, I had to think, “how am I going to fix that? How am I going to make it better?”, and it was about time for lunch. I am Catholic, but I probably practice a bit more spirituality than I do religion, but I do have some beliefs and spiritual practices. So as lunch came about, I thought, “what am I going to do about lunch?”, and I identified this self-sabotage and thought about how I could put them together. How can I use this as my own personal transformation that I’ve been taught can be? I thought about it, and then it just hit me.
I can practice self love for 40 days!
Every day I can make choices based out of love, I can put together some of the practices that I’ve already been doing, I kind of put together this whole package and said I was going to do this for 40 days and see what happens. So that’s what I did. Every day during lunch I did a radio show here on BlogTalk Radio. I’d already been doing one previously, but I did one every day. I already had a Be Happier Today day journal, and a Be Happier Today campaign, so I used that. Then I figured out I’m also going to tell myself that I love myself every single day. I’m going to look in the mirror and tell myself that, essentially using the mirror as a compliment giver, rather
than a fault finder. Because how often do we look in the mirror? All day we go in and wash our hands, check our hair, we’re checking to see if we have anything in our teeth, and we view the mirror this whole time. I decided for these 40 days that we could use the mirror as a compliment giver. I would look in the mirror and say, “I love you” to myself. I would start to really believe and feel that. I would make choices, when a choice would come up, based on loving myself. If I wasn’t sure what to do, I would ask myself, “if I loved myself more, which would I choose?”, so I started to live from that place I wanted to be…a place where I did love myself and did not sabotage myself any longer. I had already been doing the Be Happier Today two minute journaling, but during that basic practice, I identified three things I’m grateful for every morning, as well as three successes every single evening. Now, it sounds simple, and it is, but it’s not easy. When you, for 40 days, every single day, have to think of three things you’re grateful for and not keep repeating the same ten things that first pop into your mind, you really start to develop an acknowledgement of yourself.
What is it that you really are grateful for in your life? You’re so focused on finding them, so you’re finding the positive for 40 days. It’s the same thing at the end of the day. Traditionally, we look at our “to do” list and see what didn’t get done. We make plans for the next day based on what we didn’t get done today, hoping to get it done tomorrow, and we look at the end of the day and think about what went wrong, what didn’t happen. Instead, by using the 40 Day LoveFest and identifying three successes every single day, or as we call them “triumphs”, you start to focus on the positive. Maybe not everything gets done on your “to do” list, but what DID you do each day? What DID go well? It can be something so simple like you woke up when your alarm went off the first time. That could be a success for the day. It could be making it to your meeting on time, so the successes don’t have to be huge, they don’t have to be big things, they’re just things that went well every day. One day, a couple of years ago after I had been using this technique for a while, I wasn’t mean when I kind of wanted to be. You know when something happens and your first reaction before you practiced the LoveFest, might be to snap back at somebody, or make a mean comment back because you’re feeling hurt about something somebody else
said? One day, right there it was in my journal, I wasn’t mean when I wanted to be, and that was a triumph. For me, that was really a big triumph, because being able to identify that and stop myself from something that was a habit of snapping back at people sometimes, was a really positive step in my own self love and accepting myself completely and unconditionally while being able to do that for others.
Once again, think about this on Valentine’s Day. Wouldn’t this be the best Valentine’s Day you could give yourself by loving yourself more? We’re going to have a show this week on Tuesday instead of Wednesday because it’s Valentine’s Day. Be sure to check out 40DayLoveFest.com. We have some great bonuses for the book right now if you preorder it at $7.99, you get a free one-on-one consultation with me on the phone to get you started on your LoveFest, you get a free mini journal to share with somebody so you can do the LoveFest with friends or family, and you also get another freebie. So we have some really great bonuses for preordering the book. I hope you’ll also join us on Tuesday morning at 8am Pacific/ 11am Eastern, for our Happy Valentine’s Day special, Loving Ourself. A lot of people start to get sad, unhappy, or disappointed, so we want to start off that day as a really great way to love yourself and give a really amazing gift to ourself.
Thank you for joining us today. I’m Tina Nies. Be sure to join us on Tuesday, check out our LoveFest website at 40DayLoveFest.com, and have a beautiful night.